he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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