i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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