i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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