Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
