R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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