Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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