The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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