She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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