Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
