I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
