I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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