Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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