I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
