If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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