i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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