Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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