never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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