we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
