Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
