He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize