so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
