Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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