I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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