I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
