dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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