Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
