(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is Oprah even human
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