At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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