dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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