my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
