If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize