haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize