I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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