i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize