what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
