I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize