im about as happy as oj after his trial
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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