youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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