Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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