There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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