told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
