hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
