he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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