ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
