I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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