Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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