hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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