He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
