is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
