I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
