you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
so much tequila, so little girl.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
