You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
