What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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