I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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