Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
