I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
