quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
