so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
