Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
