So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
