my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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