ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
