Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Found your dick twin last night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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