dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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