if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
