Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize