U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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