Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
