Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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